Gilligan: "I think I have man hands. Girls want these inside of them."

Gilligan: "Twig arms wanted to finger me."

Mrs. Howell (to Mary Ann): Why don't you stop paying attention to your boyfriend at home and start paying attention to your wife on this trip? I'm the one giving you the BJs."

Mrs. Howell: "You don't swallow?"
Mary Ann: "No, I don't swallow and I'm not going."
Mrs. Howell: "Well, you'd swallow my cum, right?"
Mary Ann: "I'd drink your cum everyday like a refreshing beverage?"

Hostess: "Have a good evening!"
Mr. Howell: "At my age a good evening means having a good bowel movement."

Gilligan (to a fisherman): "If you catch a fish I'll suck your dick."

Mary Ann: "Ginger wants me to be a lesbian."

Gilligan: "You can't be a lesbian because you don't like to lick pussy."

Mary Ann: "That's right. And I like dick."

Skipper: "Me too."